You suck at praising people if you make one of these three…

$38k MRR. $0 raised. 0 employees. • Co-founder @ BuddiesHR.com • 5x SaaS Founder • YC alum • Aspiring Marathon Runner

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April 18, 2024

You suck at praising people if you make one of these three mistakes 👇 (and you suck even more if you don't praise people at all) There are 3 fundamental mistakes people make when appreciating others. People say things such as: « I wish to appreciate Elena's efforts. Without her, we wouldn't have finished the Municipal job on time. Let us thank Elena for her contribution. » « You did great at the meeting with Felix! Thank God you were there. » « You are wonderful! You are such a hard worker. And a real team player. You are helpful, reliable, and intelligent. You're a real asset to the team! » 𝘔𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴? you might wonder. 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯? 𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘸𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘢𝘯𝘺! These statements are not wrong, but they are much less powerful than they could be. These statements are: 1️⃣ 𝗜𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗰𝘁 Effective recognition is direct. Rather than speaking about the other in the third person (as if they weren't present), recognize them in second person. Compare the original statement with: « Elena, I want to tell you how much I appreciate your efforts. Without you, we wouldn't have finished Municipal's job on time. Thank you so much. » 2️⃣ 𝗔𝗯𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁 Effective recognition is specific. Tather than using generalities, identify the specific consequences of the other's tangible actions. When you speak abstractly, the other does not learn what he did and how it benefited you. Compare the original statement with: « Henry, I'm very grateful for the stance you took at the meeting with Felix. The way you negotiated his demand for a rush job will allow us to deliver impeccably. » 3️⃣ 𝗜𝗺𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 Effective recognition is respectful. Rather than telling the person who they are, let them know how their actions affected you positively. When you label the other, you impose your perspective on them. Compare the original statement with: « Elena, I am delighted to have you on our team. Your impeccable fulfillment of Municipal's order has earned us tremendous good will with them. I have already received a call from Felix asking us to bid for a job twice as large as the one we just finished. You reliability makes my work much less stressful and much more fun. Thank you! » To sum it up, 𝗽𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝗽𝗿𝗮𝗶𝘀𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗽𝘂𝗯𝗹𝗶𝗰, 𝗱𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗰𝘁, 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗰𝗿𝗲𝘁𝗲, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝗳𝘂𝗹. #Management #Leadership #Praise This post is inspired by the life-changing book: Conscious Business. If you haven't read it yet, I strongly recommend you do so!